On his welcome home, Jack's first quip is: "You know how I love those sandy planets sir..." And YES! Chris Judge gets to add some Jaffa sarcasm to the mix... "The wind was most pleasant." Apparently there is some kind of scientific out post, well ruins, and they found the device, yeah, so find something and bring-it-back, very bright, these are the brightest and greatest of the SGC and they bring back an alien device, ok so Carter thinks it's the Ancients and that it was a nice little underground observatory/science station. Jonas touched the artifact, D'OH, and it activated, well it glowed...don't know about you peeps, but I'd run! Jack describes the device, his theory, as some kind of bug zapper! It's not blue, ok it's glowing orange. And there's no food, someone tell me if your food bug zappers are orange in the US...eh you guys are strange!

While they get into the exposition about the planet, Jonas looks up and sees a transparent bug flying through the SGC with the greatest of ease, kinda like the one in the episode BANE. He flips out, touches Teal'c on the shoulder and to me it looked like he took Jack's sidearm. No, ladies not THAT kind of one, the one that fires... anyway he is about to start firing his handgun at it. No one else sees the bug. Jack gives the 'ok so he's an alien and he's weird look', but Hammond trusts him and locks down the base.

Alrighty then, Hammond comes in and says that the base has been swept three times over the last six hours and can't find anything of those creatures. Hammond tells them all to have a break and take some leave and returns the base to normal operations. The team asks Mr Quinn, Jonas to you and me, again if he is sure that he saw it. Jonas asks if it is because of the Naquadria experiments that they are questioning him, and if they think he is delusional. Jack says no, but it was just possible, yes... even though 'ole Doc Fraiser gave him a clean bill of health three months ago. Jonas is adamant that there was some thing there. Jack is leaving the base, he tries to get Carter to go fishing, but she is planning to study the artefact, she says "you are only asking because you know I want to study the artefact!". He thinks she should come...the doors close on the elevator. Not too much persuasion in his voice in this one shipper fans.

Jonas walks into Sam's lab and says, "so this is what you do on your down time." She says she finds this more relaxing than going fishing with Jack. Has she been before? Not in any episodes she hasn't! Sam can't work out what the artefact is, and that it is emitting particles in the form of energy, but she can't identify it. Sam asks Jonas to help translate the words on it and while he is looking at it and describing that the wording could be a slight difference of the Ancient dialect, another bug, blue with yellow spots like a millipede, go figure, crawls over the artefact. Jonas, looking freaked out, asks Sam if she can see it, she can't and he submits himself to Dr Fraiser for tests but she can't find anything physically wrong with him. He is taken off active duty and the device is shipped off to Area 51 for further study. Jonas really wants to work on the device and knows that it's that which triggered the visions off.

Jonas, walking with our man mountain, has a little a moan at Teal'c over the device being moved but Teal'c says that it may be better to study it in a special environment and that he is welcome to join him in Kel'no'reem. Jonas declines and asks if he has other plans, apparently Jack asked Teal'c if he wanted to go fishing too, Jonas is a little put out that he wasn't asked and Teal'c reminds him that he does not have permission to leave the base. In any case, Teal'c explains that he is extremely lucky that Jack did not ask him to accompany him fishing! Teal'c finally admits that he doesn't like fishing. Jonas explains that he has read every book in the base library twice and that he better get back to... when Teal'c sees one of the bugs! Hooray, Jonas is not going crazy, nuts, well you guys know that line!

Jack pulls up at a gas station and fills up the truck, when he sees a flying bug. He shoots at it, and Vernon the attendant gets a little freaked. He explains that he was in the Gulf and he can keep it classified, Jack asks him where, apparently he was stationed in the Motor Pool! While he phones into Hammond, we see Gary's (Sgt Davis) hands again; Hammond is worried, as the little critters have breached base containment, as Jack is thirty clicks North of the base so they got there too. Everyone on base is seeing them.

Sam walks in to the lab, where the device is now and asks if Jonas has managed to translate the wording, he explains they were studying beings of the something, something...The beings of the inner layer... Sam and Jonas eventually figure out that they could be from another dimension. He explains he is working as quickly as he can and Sam apologises for not believing him earlier, that he is part of the team now. Jonas brushes it off saying that he understood their reaction given the Naquadria poisoning and that he is the new boy.
She says he is part of the team, he is doing a great job and he deserves their respect. She changes the subject lightly and tells him to figure out what it says with a smile. Ok so the beginning of a beautiful relationship?

In the briefing room, Hammond lets them know that Jack is helping contain Colorado Springs, but they are not sure if they can contain it. They talk again about the energy particles. The device is meant to allow them to see this parallel dimension. So they didn't come through the gate and they are already part of Earth. They can't do anything to them and Doc Fraiser explains that it has no effect physically on humans. Hammond tells them to shut off the device. The sightings have been tracked to a 500-meter radius around the device, as it attracts the beings to it. They decide to remove the crystals to shut it off. Unfortunately, it doesn't work, anyone else wildly surprised by that?

Ok just to let you know Sam switched to yellow Jelly (Jello) in this episode! Never let it be said we don't keep you up to date on this. Ok, they take the device back to the sandy planet where the wind is 'most pleasant'...not. But that doesn't work either. They can still see the bugs even though the device is off world and the gate is shut...and we can still see Gary's hands! So they brought the device back and Jonas works out that it isn't the particles that are being emitted that causes the sightings rather that just attracts the creatures to it like food. They work out that it is simply a touching exercise, so you just have to touch someone, oooerrr, and they can see the other dimension too...

And so this brings us back to Vernon... the paranoid, conspiracy theory, gulf vet that worked in the motor pool. He freaks when he sees the bugs and believes that the military are out to get him! The cover story is an accidental spill of an experimental chemical that gives hallucinogenic visions. It is a guy freaking out about a huge bug on his car and crashing into Vernon's gas station sign that makes him take off and escape the quarantine of Colorado Springs.

Jonas and Sam figure out, that it is the order of the seven crystals that could reverse it. Jonas touches the device again, he doesn't fell anything, but he can't see the bug that Hammond and Carter can see. So there is a little hand holding ritual and patting on the back, and it stops everyone from seeing it. Easy peasy. Fraiser suggests a placebo pill for the public, to help with the cover story

Jack has a really groovy hands free kit for his cell as he tries to find Vernon. Apparently he has withdrawn his entire bank account in cash and has left. He is hitchhiking away from Colorado Springs, spreading the problem as he touches people. Sam and Jonas visit Vernon's Grandmother to find out where he is. She is also a conspiracy theorist, won't take her pills because of it, she says that it's the Gulf war experiments that has sent him off. Sam changes tack and lies about the situation and says that the virus he has is to help reverse the effect of the Gulf experiments but that they have side effects they didn't anticipate. She says, well you seem like a nice couple! Jonas tries to say no, but Sam grabs his hand and says thanks, can you tell me where he is! Okkkkk, in the spirit of conspiracy theories, does anyone else have a suspicion as to the fact that Daniel is coming back they need to move Jonas out of the team and given Sam's Black widow reputation, maybe Sam will fall in love with Jonas and it will be the death of him! Ahem, moving on...

Jack tracks Vernon to an airport, love Jack's groovy sunnnies by the way, they ground the flights but Vernon hides in an aircraft hanger. Jack says, "I know this is a massive cliché but this place is surrounded." Vernon thinks that he is gonna be killed and that the cover story is rubbish, Jack says you want the truth...well the truth is out there! Whoops I am reviewing the wrong series again, but Jack spins some yarn to him about the bugs actually being Aliens, that he works for an ultra secret branch of the military that deals with extraterrestrials and they are harmless. Vernon, I keep wanting to call him Vermin...weird, wants to know what happens next, Jack says the world isn't ready to know about the Aliens yet and that he is asking him from one soldier to another to keep it quiet. Jack pats him on the shoulder to pass on the antidote charge to reverse the effects and they walk off outside to Vernon asking where the aliens are from, he says Melmak? And he says, "Isn't that where ALF is from?" Oh please... This episode is not one of the best peeps I'm sorry to say.