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Posted by on Jan 20 2003 at 14:07:21
We are trying to document the creatures of Mirphak in great detail, but since they are their own experts, I asked Marty to write a bit about the skinny litte... nevermind :-)
MEMO: Classified Top Secret EYES ONLY, by MALP
To: General Hammond, Stargate Command, Earth
From: NWP Samem, Alpha Site, Mirphak
Subject: Report on first contact with Mereks
Sir, following a recent first contact with these creatures I enclose a document transcribed from the creatures themselves, I have added my personal observations within their report in italics. Given by the level of intelligence these creatures, you will be surprised by their quick study of our language and slang. Personally, I think they have spent too much time with some of the personnel in the PL bar, as you will see when you read the report.
Council of Merek’s: Yemanik Heyskeyu (Tau’ri given name, Marty)
Greetings Earth people or should I say Tau’ri? We come in peace. As you say, quite a cliché.
I have been asked to make a report on our people for your perusal.
I must say, your people are very interesting and we too have asked for a report for our people on your habits. I believe that is going to be reciprocated.
Note: SA-6 are currently working on compatibility between our equipment and their devices, also the CMO has had a request from the council of Merek’s, that a Medical exchange of information takes place.
To that end a Merek, Tueosytwe Wyetrhreu, (Jamie) has decided to work with her on a full time basis in an attempt to exchange anatomical and behavioural information. On a side note sir, we are glad it is not an exchange of bodily fluids… my report on an incident with another creature on this planet will shed light on that.
So your commanders here wish you to know what we are like, where we are from and if we have any information about the Goa’uld.
Wyet, I am sorry, you have trouble pronouncing our names, Jamie has described us as warm-blooded mammals such as you, only we are much shorter, much, much shorter. Smaller than Samem even. Smaller than those ducks you brought with you. We don’t have coverings like you, or hair, Jack described us as nekkid, skinny little runts, running around with no clothes on and letting it all hang out.
Note: Jack didn’t realise the Mereks were around when he was trying to describe them to new recruits, so they didn’t freak out at seeing Mereks and hearing them in their head.
He also mentioned that Mereks may be small but are clearly visible to the naked eye, sometimes naked to the visible eyes, but that's another story.
We prefer to be us and we do not pretend to be something we are not, however, delving into your minds has proved interesting. To answer your question in your mind, yes we do. But we are the secret keepers of the Universe. Many secrets do we keep, those of the Nox and the Furhlings are uppermost in the Ancient repository.
The Ancients moved us to what you call Mirphak many generations ago, before they moved on…You see, we share all our knowledge freely with our kind, though where we are asked not to share we do not. Your race has much insecurity that you are afraid to mention to your peers. Do not worry we will be truthful with you all, for we cannot lie.
The Jaffa and Tok’ra are known to us, in fact, our kind were once in danger of annihilation, just from the digestion of food by the Jaffa, for they have dangerous amounts of gas. Samem calls it coughing in their knickers, apparently the Tau’ri men have proud contests on the loudness and length of what you call a fart. Trust me, Jaffa are far worse.
My position in the council is that of a Yemanik. This means I am trusted with the exploration of planets, the training of the young and as an ambassador. Jamie, Wyet as I know him, is a Tueosytwe, his duties are that of the study of other beings and cultures, hence him volunteering for the exchange. He has already made a study of the Goa’uld hosts, the Unas and the human. He has many stories to speak of on his studies, Samem tells me that Flashpointe has many similar embarrassing moments to share, particularly giving birth in an unauthorised place? Jamie says it’s an honour to delve into such an esteemed mind as your CMO.
Note: The hierarchal council of Mereks seem to be predominately of inquisitiveness I would call it being a busy body.
Jack has just added that they would rival Jesse, Jem and Skye on the gossiping stakes…
I am still trying to fathom out the Misfits and the Brats, there is always one of them in what you call the PL bar, snogging? Another thing is streaking in the PL something you are ordered to do?
Anyway, why do you need an Iris deactivation code that is so hard to remember? I mean 9462987361 is long for your minds, I saw Jack write his down earlier over and over. He was thinking about cheeky girls? … Ok Samem just took the typing device from me and asked me not to write that which I was to reveal.
Note: Please send notification of new codes ASAP sir. They have a tendency to stick their long Pinocchio noses into everything and anything, I did warn them about the minds of some of the personnel assigned here, but one of them has been confined to their underground abode, still disturbed by the marriage of Det and Jadzia. Apparently a coke can hit him in the head. He is undergoing counselling as we speak along with several other personnel.
Well, this will have to do for now, I have a report to gather for the council, but I will continue with our report another day.
It seems that these, nekkid, vertically challenged, cute, long nose and fingered little guys are quite the inquisitive type, I recommend further interaction and study. Who knows, maybe they are the key to the Universe?
I will send further reports as and when we can.
Samem and Marty
Bought to you by Universal Studies of Mirphakian Creatures